It affects the child if the parents are left alone because of it

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Many people have been concerned about how parents are affected by small children, but we know far less about how teens or adult children do this.

"We only stay together because of the children, we would have missed it just as much" - it's a surprisingly common phrase, and many people actually decide do not divorce until the children are small, since these years are considered to be "most sensitive." That is why the bomb explodes at home when the child is already a teenager (though this is a very stressful time for the kids themselves), or even when the children are out of the family treats. And while many studies have dealt with how choice affects children, we always know little about how it affects the older age group. "There is no good way to test this. Not only do you have to focus on how it affects, as well as how marriage itself affects children. They have to live through it, often over long years, "he says. Constance Ahrons, Professor of Sociology.

Wait for the baby to grow up?

Here are some personal stories!

"My parents and my brothers didn't even think our parents could divorce. They didn't quarrel, they didn't move outside. I won't be paying for child support. I was 19 when I was gone and I have no idea how I would have survived this if it had happened in the past. The choice had completely changed my relationship with my parents. on the other hand, there is a lot to do with our daily lives and with our grandchildren. Sometimes you ask if the apostles know how much you missed. " - Laura, 34 "I grew up being very close to my parents. A friend once said that she likes to be with us because she sees what a normal family is. Then I was a college student when she was 22, and when she called, that they were divorcing. I felt completely outrageous. My 16-year-old sister told me they had a lot of fights. They moved in, but it took them almost ten years to complete. a child doesn't realize that his parents are unhappy, and they have done a lot to hide this. I think it is a noble thing to try to provide a solid background so that we can finish school, for example. But I have a sense of guilt. After we have gone through this, I believe that if one wants to divorce, one should not bring it to trial. "- Nick, 34 "My parents threatened me with despair. They sat down once, and told me that their marriage was terribly wrong. Even though they are staying together, my mother said she wanted my little boy to grow up in a home with two parents. I was 21 when I was married. The first ten years were very difficult. talking to each other, celebrating birthdays together. The situation is much better now than when they were married. I wish I had made this decision beforebecause we would have gotten there earlier. "- Christina, 38 "Our parents were waiting for the choice, even though I and my dude were not college students. But they didn't have a good relationship, and it would have been better if they had done so when we were kids. to keep them confidential, which was extremely difficult and caused me to have regular panic attacks. I would not expose my own child to a bad relationship. "- Nameless" My parents always held hands and said "I love you". Until I was 12, I had no idea that something was not working between them. But one morning I found my mother crying on the couch, telling me that my father had gone home on a business trip that he hadn't liked him for years. He also said that he cheated many times, even when he was pregnant with me. I simply didn't understand why he was staying in the marriage. When I asked her, she said she didn't want another woman to raise her children. However, I do not wish to have been divorced before. I'm sorry for my mom that she had to live in a marriage where she didn't feel like it, but that was her decision. But I'm sorry that I learned from my mistakes. I am much more open with my own children. We tell them that sometimes we argue, we don't always understand one thing, but we discuss everything. "Also worth reading: