Message to the Father

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The baby is born and then the baby booties are over. They came home from work and did not understand where the lovely smiling mother who always had a good word for her seemed.

How can they help? They understood that…

… We primarily need our BOB, not our grandmother, sister or bisexual. Don't underestimate, they are all very helpful, cook, wash, cover, and provide a lot of good advice if you need to or not. But somehow, you think we're dad. We want to chill with you, get excited. We want to tell you what your neighbor said today when she got into the stroller. To boast that our little one hasn't fallen asleep while breastfeeding. And just by simply putting our heads in the business, you are going to be sorry.… It would be very bad for you to call me at work after an urn, when you should be home. How can we best sensitize, how sensitive is it? Imagine that you have to do fifty recumbents. When you're already in your forties, the coach comes over and says, okay, still some water. You didn't touch that coach, did you? We, moms, count down the minutes, the highlight of our day, when they entered the door. We know you have a family to support, and you have a very important job to do. We'll save you if you need to pay it back. But now that we have a very poor sense of expectation, especially if we only know that we are waiting for us, if you call.… There is nothing more annoying than hearing us drag your car in front of the garage, but let's just wait and see. Then the timeless grin flushes from your face, because you always co-ordinate with your colleagues over the phone the day's meeting in the car. Or, just then, your neighbor gets in and you start discussing the most exciting moments of Sunday's match. And we are in front of the window with the kid and we look forward to it. Let's make it clear that they haven't rushed home, though certainly not. We want you to give me a kiss when you come home. And you'd better be asked if we are.… Since we're not living in the middle ages, you can drape yourself too. We know that in your family, your mother did everything for the children and the house, but we are not your mother. We want you to be more enthusiastic and to remember that you have the child. We know that you love the little cucumber all the more, for your family the most important thing is to understand, but you don't have to get caught up in the classic roles that father is to keep the family and the child. We moms are much less likely to ask you to help your baby than you would ever be. So, just come in and send me for a shower or a little sleep. Believe us, it will make us much better, and everyone can do better.

Message to the Father

… We don't have the time and the strength to cook a multi-course lunch every day. Therefore, do not be the first to ask what you have for dinner. Well, it's good to have something to eat. Unfortunately, you tend to think that honoring the exception is that we just sit here and wait for our feet all day. And you shouldn't expect candlelight and a beautiful table. At least for a while. If you have already invested in maternity and the lonely home relationship, you may not be able to jump into the open breeches on a nice day when they return home. We just ask for some patience and understanding in the meantime. Yeah, and they may have been surprised by a delicious shit from your favorite zucchini.… We are equal parents. You can also think of different kinds of spending time with your child, you may have some ideas about parenting. If you don't like the way we do it, you can feel free to do it. Constructive suggestions will only be missed. That is why we feel that you are as interested in the development of your baby as we are. We get stuck if you say you want to help. You are not bibysitters. Of course, we know a baby needs more for her mom, but without breastfeeding, there is no baby care job that your dad wouldn't be able to do. In fact, you are often more confident about your child than we are. And we so love to look up to you.… We are at least as stressful every day as you are. A lot of dads are cleaning this up, trying to get out of the job, saying they were tired all day, colleagues, bosses, frontiers. It's not that you shouldn't mind not listening because these are common problems. We will only be upset if you say that while we are at home, you are driving your soul out. If you were to change for a few days, you would run back to the office afterwards. In addition, we are multi-legged at night, when you wheeze beside the righteous while sleeping.… Now we're primarily moms, not homemakers, and we don't want to play bomb women. In fact, we do not even feel more beautiful. We need a little caring for our changed body, our breasts, our stomachs. Not too sexy for our bra. But things will get better over time, but this is a more difficult transition period. We want to be sorry for you, to feel like a real woman again, but we're just not in the mood right now. But weakness is what we need, as is consolation, understanding, joking, ranting. Believe us as we move in the initial hardships, we will be happy to return your kindness.

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