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Your first position is in many ways special. You can benefit from your experience as a child.
The position of the firstborn is special
The first one is naturally one for a while. Until the sibling arrives, he has the full attention of all his close relatives. At the same time, it is the task of the parent to raise his father's mother, that is, to bear all the worries of the first child, to bear the inadequate care and nurturing bucks. Parents, blessed with good humor, smile a lot at the lesser-revived stories: we went to the tip of our toes most of the time, we regularly disinfected our toys, and we left it alone.
With smaller children, most parents are looser, because the most experienced: the baby is not porcelain. But in the early days of life, according to research, the few years of adventure he went through once left a mark. And, of course, the second act, which begins with the birth of the little brother.
These requirements encourage the most firstborn to perform above average. Many of them occupy smaller leadership positions, they are very precise, prudent, rarely lean, and take their duties seriously. But to be as successful as they are, they are rarely overwhelmed with themselves, for it is difficult to live up to the demands of adulthood.
But he's the one who needs a great deal of creativity to tread the rough road to finding solutions when using a toy or in everyday life when a baby can't help him or her with everything.
She's staying in the familyPerhaps surprising but common experience is that the firstborn is much more attached to his parents and family traditions than the smaller ones. It happens that you do not start a family because you are responsible for the parent, stay with them, take care of them. The small amount of care has been characteristic of him since he often had to look after his brother and help him around. In this situation, it is often the case that first-born girls are left behind, as it is always the accepted division of labor that women take care of the needy and that they give up the career of the deceiver.
Many people are looking for the ideal age range, but no one has managed to find it. If they are both tiny, they are physically difficult to support. If there is a great deal of difference, there is little chance that they will feel, act, play together. Anyone who will become a brother after the age of two is virtually one-on-one, blinded by its drawbacks and blessed with its undeniable benefits.
What are you paying attention to? Х is small!
They're not stubbornIt is not the task of the firstborn to blow the little one out, to save him from difficult situations, and to make sure he does not eat sand on the toy. Older children tend to assume responsibility for the baby, but it is better not to take advantage of it. He's got his childhood!
You don't have to love your bodyDon't expect him to love your brother! Believe me, the first period is extremely difficult, not only losing parents' full attention and care, but also letting go of their usual agendas; in fact, their surroundings change. Even if you do not have your own brother, believe that your brother-in-law relationship has generally changed: where the emotional distance between the two children is greater, where they almost co-exist. We know, of course, that it is hard for a parent to endure all this patiently.
Have some time
They have grown up on the first cycleDetails from online forums:
We are two brothers and sisters, as a firstborn, I feel a greater burden, especially in the field of study. When I was a kid, I had to take care of my puppy a lot, I always had to be smarter, smarter, blablabla. My grandchild is leaner, looser, a typical teenager, this son, he carries on the family name ... My grandmother had to grow up sooner than the first-born girl had to take the part out of our house hard.
It was good to be big, because I was adjusting quickly, and I still enjoy the benefits of it. I was not disturbed by my belief, in fact, I was afraid that there was a smaller one that dealt with it.
We were so juxtaposed with the little thing that there was a continuity that our parents had learned years later.
I'm twenty-six, my twenties have spent each other until our teenage years. It started there because I hated him because he was born a son, so I felt sorry for him. He was miserable, helpful, he tried to adapt to me, but I was not good at all. And as we grew up, I defended it with five other children, and we fought against the parents ... We quarreled a lot, but we became siblings who can count on each other, even ... I was also surprised the other day about how responsible this relationship has become as a responsible adult.
More info about this topic: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish: Brothers Without HimRelated articles in this topic:
- This is how our lives are influenced by the order of birth
- Are firstborns more successful?
- Do the firstborns really make you better in life?